# Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten
Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten is a snowclone catchphrase and image macro that pairs a mock religious anti-masturbation warning with a picture of a threatened kitten. The phrase originated in BarFly magazine before 2000 and went viral through a November 2002 FARK.com Photoshop of two Domo-kun figures chasing a cat. It's still cited on old forum threads and even inspired the name of a Scottish sex party company.
## Overview
"Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten" is a snowclone catchphrase built around a photoshopped image macro pairing a mock religious warning with a picture of a doomed kitten[1]. The phrase gets flipped into the template "Every time you [verb], [noun] [verb]s a [noun]" for jokes about any activity the poster wants to guilt-trip someone about[3].
The visual most people recognize shows two Domo-kun characters closing in on a small kitten, with the guilt-inducing warning text overlaid on the picture[1]. Before that image took over online, the same line circulated on paper flyers and in forwarded emails with a different picture attached[1].
## How It Spread
The Domo-kun version bounced around FARK, 4chan, and email forwards, where it was reposted for years as shock-comedy filler, and Google search interest for "every time you masturbate" peaked in the mid-2000s before drifting downward from 2004[3].
The line got picked up by the Christian anti-porn ministry XXXchurch, which uses similar guilt-based framing in its outreach against pornography and sexual addiction[4]. It also inspired the name of Killing Kittens, a members-only Scottish sex party company that turned the joke into branding[5].
By the 2010s the phrase had settled into old-internet-classic status, still quoted and re-defined on Urban Dictionary and older forum threads[6].
## How to Use
The template typically keeps the "Every time you [verb], [noun] [verb]s a [noun]" skeleton and swaps in whatever activity the poster wants to mock-guilt about[1]. Common versions replace "God" with a fictional character and "kittens" with something the audience finds cute, so the mock punishment lands as absurdly out of scale with the offense.
## Frequently Asked Questions
### What is Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten?
It's an early-internet snowclone catchphrase and image macro that jokes about religious punishment for masturbation, usually shown as text over a Photoshop of two Domo-kun characters menacing a kitten[1].
### Where did Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten come from?
The line first ran in BarFly magazine as a print flyer before 2000, then went viral online after a November 28, 2002 FARK.com Photoshop contest attached it to a Domo-kun image[3].
### What does Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten mean?
It's an absurdist joke that frames masturbation as causing collateral harm to something innocent, mocking the guilt-inducing style of religious anti-porn messaging[4].
### How do you use Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten?
Post the Domo-kun-and-kitten image, or swap the phrase into the template "Every time you [verb], [noun] [verb]s a [noun]" to mock-guilt someone about any activity[6].
### Is Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten still popular?
It's a classic old-internet meme rather than an active trend. Google search interest peaked in the mid-2000s and drifted down from 2004, though references still show up on Urban Dictionary and older forum threads[6].
## References
1. [https://cardhouse.com/]()
2. [https://www.fark.com/]()
3. [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/every-time-you-masturbate-god-kills-a-kitten]()
4. [https://xxxchurch.com/]()
5. [https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/]()
6. [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Every%20Time%20You%20Masturbate%20God%20Kills%20A%20Kitten]()
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Source: https://meme.com/memes/every-time-you-masturbate-god-kills-a-kitten
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