Growing Up Watching Sunsets

2023Catchphrase / awareness trendsemi-active

Published March 31, 2026

Also known as: Watching Sunsets · #watchingsunsets

"Growing Up Watching Sunsets" is a coded TikTok phrase used by new mothers to express their struggle with suicidal thoughts tied to postpartum depression, without triggering the platform's content moderation filters. The expression went viral in February 2023 after TikToker @laceyyyyg posted a video holding her daughter with the caption "god I'm so tired, but I don't want her growing up watching sunsets," which pulled in over 29.9 million views7. The phrase works as algospeak: "watching sunsets" means mourning someone who died by suicide, so a child "growing up watching sunsets" means growing up without their mother1.

algospeak memes mental health memes censorship evasion memes postpartum memes

Overview

"Growing Up Watching Sunsets" is an example of TikTok algospeak, where users invent innocent-sounding phrases to discuss topics that would otherwise be flagged by automated moderation. On TikTok, searching for the word "suicide" triggers a content filter that redirects users to crisis resources instead of showing videos7. To get around this, mothers on the platform adopted the sunset metaphor to openly discuss their darkest moments after giving birth.

The logic behind the phrase is layered. Many people associate sunsets with remembering loved ones who have passed away1. So if a mother says she doesn't want her child "growing up watching sunsets," she's saying she doesn't want her child to grow up without her, mourning her through sunsets3. The trend typically features exhausted new mothers holding their babies, with overlay text reading some variation of "I don't want her/him growing up watching sunsets"6.

Origin & Background

Platform
TikTok
Creator
@laceyyyyg
Date
2023

On February 21, 2023, TikTok user @laceyyyyg uploaded a short video of herself holding her daughter4. The on-screen text read: "god I'm so tired, but I don't want her growing up watching sunsets." The video struck a nerve immediately. Within three days it had racked up over 16 million views4, and eventually climbed to 29.9 million views and 5.3 million likes7.

@laceyyyyg's video didn't explain the phrase, which is part of what made it spread. Viewers who understood the meaning left supportive comments, while those who didn't were pulled into the conversation trying to decode it3. The ambiguity was the point. By avoiding explicit language about suicide, the video stayed up and reached millions of people who might have never seen it otherwise.

How It Spread

The phrase caught on fast. Over the following days, other mothers posted their own versions of the video, holding their children with similar overlay text4. Each video carried the same quiet weight: an admission of struggle wrapped in a refusal to give in.

By February 24, 2023, news outlets including HITC and The Sports Grail had published explainers breaking down the phrase's meaning for readers outside the TikTok ecosystem1. TikTok creator LifeHac (@thereallifehac) also posted a video explaining the trend after a commenter asked what "watching sunsets" meant2. She described it plainly: "Watching sunsets is about when someone decides to unalive themselves and the people who are left here to think about them and remember them. And they do that by watching sunsets"2.

The hashtag #watchingsunsets accumulated over 370,000 views on TikTok6. While some users tagged sunset photography with it, the majority used it to share personal stories about mental health or to offer encouragement to struggling parents5. TikToker @itshollymariecharles posted a video sitting in her car with text reading, "God I'm so tired. But I can't imagine my babies growing up watching sunsets"2.

The trend also crossed language barriers. French health publication Doctissimo covered the phenomenon, noting how TikTok users had developed coded expressions to bypass moderation and discuss suicide openly7. The article placed "growing up watching sunsets" alongside other TikTok algospeak terms like "unalive" and quoted lines from Hannah Dains' poem "Don't Kill Yourself Today," which had similarly gone viral as coded anti-suicide content7.

How to Use This Meme

The format is simple but emotionally heavy. Creators typically film themselves in a quiet, intimate setting, often holding or sitting near their child. On-screen text follows a pattern like:

1

An acknowledgment of exhaustion or struggle ("God I'm so tired," "I'm fighting every day")

2

The core phrase: "but I don't want him/her growing up watching sunsets"

Cultural Impact

The trend brought significant attention to postpartum depression and maternal mental health, topics that users noted are "usually overlooked" and "seldom spoken about"1. The coded language allowed real conversations to happen at scale on a platform that would have otherwise suppressed them.

Research backs up the urgency behind the trend. A study published in the *American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology* found that nearly 9% of females of childbearing age who died by suicide between 2008 and 2019 were pregnant or recently postpartum8. A separate study in *JAMA Psychiatry* found that rates of suicidality among pregnant or postpartum populations tripled from 0.2% per 100 individuals in 2006 to 0.6% in 20178. For those with co-occurring conditions like anxiety, depression, or substance use disorders, the increases were even steeper.

The trend also spotlighted the broader practice of algospeak on TikTok. Users had already been substituting "unalive" for words related to death and suicide. "Growing up watching sunsets" took this further by building an entire metaphor rather than just swapping a single word7. This made it harder for moderation algorithms to detect while making it more emotionally resonant for human viewers.

Fun Facts

The original @laceyyyyg video eventually reached 29.9 million views and 5.3 million likes, making it one of the most-viewed algospeak posts on TikTok7.

CDC data shows that suicide deaths among pregnant and postpartum individuals were higher than specific obstetric causes of maternal mortality like hemorrhage or hypertensive disorders8.

The trend is part of a wider TikTok pattern where users repurposed Hannah Dains' poem "Don't Kill Yourself Today," with lines like "don't kill yourself until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time" going viral as their own micro-trends7.

TikToker LifeHac emphasized in her explainer that the phrase applies beyond just mothers: anyone thinking about ending their life could be described as someone whose loved ones would end up "watching sunsets"2.

Frequently Asked Questions