# Pick Me Girl > Pick Me Girl is a 2016 Black Twitter slang term describing women who claim to be "not like other girls" to gain male approval, popularized by TikTok parodies in 2021. "Pick Me" Girl is a slang term describing women who seek male approval by distancing themselves from other women, often claiming to be "not like other girls." The phrase gained traction on Black Twitter in 2016 with the hashtag #TweetLikeAPickMe and exploded on TikTok in 2021 through parody skits and POV videos[1]. Rooted in discussions about internalized misogyny and female solidarity, the term has sparked ongoing debate about whether calling someone a "pick me" fights sexism or just creates new ways for women to tear each other down[3]. ## Origin The exact origin of the phrase "pick me" in this context is murky, but its pop culture roots trace back to a 2005 episode of *Grey's Anatomy*. In the Season 2 scene, Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) pleads with Derek Shepherd: "Pick me. Choose me. Love me"[8]. Years later, Pompeo joked that her daughter's friends use "pick-me girl" as an insult, adding: "Hello? Do you know who invented the pick-me girl?"[8]. The term first took on its modern meaning in late February 2016 on Black Twitter. On February 28th, Twitter user @_PettyCrocker retweeted a post from @itsonlytwiterr proposing the hashtag #TweetLikeAPickMe[4]. The hashtag trended through early March, with users mocking a specific type of woman who boasts about being "wifey material" while shaming single women for hookups, revealing clothing, or not cooking for their partners[1]. Blavity published a collection of the tweets on March 1st, noting the term's roots in Black internet culture[4]. The hashtag saw a second wave in 2018, again spreading through Black Twitter with #TweetLikeAPickMe[1]. By May 2020, the top Urban Dictionary definition for "pick me girl" had accumulated over 3,800 likes[4]. - **Platform:** Twitter / Black Twitter (hashtag origin), TikTok (viral spread) - **Creator:** @_PettyCrocker and @itsonlytwiterr (earliest known #TweetLikeAPickMe tweets), Hannah Montoya (early TikTok skits), Kelsey Jensen (Chill Girl character) - **Date:** 2016 ## Overview A "Pick Me" Girl refers to a woman who bends over backward to gain male attention and validation, typically by putting down other women or rejecting traditionally feminine traits[6]. The behavior can take many forms: bragging about preferring beer over cocktails, claiming all her friends are guys because "girls are too much drama," or shaming other women for wearing makeup or dressing up[1]. Urban Dictionary defines her as "a girl who seeks male validation by indirectly or directly insinuating that she is 'not like the other girls.' Basically a female version of a simp"[6]. The archetype predates the internet by decades. The "Cool Girl" monologue from Gillian Flynn's *Gone Girl* and countless TV tropes where a male character compliments a woman for not being "like other girls" laid the groundwork long before anyone tweeted a hashtag[2]. Early 2000s media reinforced this: in *A Cinderella Story*, the female lead wins points by choosing a hamburger over a rice cake, and Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" contrasted the relatable sneaker-wearing girl against the high-heeled cheerleader[7]. From a psychological perspective, the behavior is widely seen as a form of internalized misogyny. Clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff explains that a "pick me girl" often derives her identity and self-worth from being chosen by others, changing her values and personality to be selected[7]. The label carries weight because it names a pattern many women recognize from personal experience, though it has also drawn criticism for becoming a tool to police women's behavior[9]. ## How It Spread The "Pick Me" Girl concept migrated steadily across platforms between 2018 and 2021. On September 3rd, 2018, Reddit user u/bronboop posted a meme comparing regular girls to pick-me girls on r/notliketheothergirls, collecting over 300 upvotes[4]. In December 2020, YouTuber Tara Mooknee published a deep-dive video tracing the history of the term, which pulled in over 1.3 million views[4]. TikTok became the meme's true home starting in early 2021. On March 3rd, TikToker Hannah Montoya (@hannah.montoya) posted a skit acting out what it's like having the "pick me" girl as a class partner, racking up 9.9 million views[4]. She followed up with more skits throughout March, including one about "pick me" boys (5.9 million views) and another pick-me girl video that hit 11.1 million views[4]. On March 26th, YouTuber Anna Akana posted a skit about identifying pick-me behavior, earning 431,000 views[4]. The trend accelerated through spring and summer 2021. One early TikTok trend used Lil Uzi Vert's song "Heavy Metal," which includes the lyrics "Pick me, like, pick me," as a soundtrack for identifying pick-me behavior[1]. By May 23rd, TikToker @ttrippiereed's skit about a pick-me girl meeting a boy's female best friend had hit 15.6 million views[4]. On July 11th, @sneha.v's take on the pick-me girl at a boy's house reached 12.8 million views[4]. One of the most popular pick-me characters came from actor Kelsey Jensen, whose "Chill Girl" POV series featured a boundary-crossing female friend of your boyfriend "Jason." Jensen's Chill Girl would apologize for not having "sweet drinks" at her party (she only drinks beer), boast about not being tired on hikes while pointing out you're winded, and beg your boyfriend for photos together[1]. Jensen told InsideHook she drew inspiration from multiple real people she'd encountered in relationships[1]. By July 2021, media outlets were weighing in. InsideHook published a piece on July 19th examining the trend's potential to encourage female-on-female hostility[4]. A similar analysis appeared on A Little Bit Human on July 25th[4]. Between 2021 and 2024, TikTok videos under pick-me hashtags reportedly reached over 2 billion views[5]. ## How to Use The "Pick Me" Girl label typically gets applied in a few common ways: **As a callout:** When someone posts or says something that fits the pattern of seeking male approval by putting down other women ("I only hang out with guys, girls are too dramatic"), others might respond by calling them a pick-me girl or tagging their post with #pickme. **In skits and parody:** TikTok creators act out recognizable pick-me scenarios. The format usually involves playing both roles or reacting to a fictional pick-me character in common social situations like parties, classrooms, or group hangouts. **As a POV video:** A creator plays the pick-me character directly addressing the camera (representing "you"), delivering patronizing lines. Kelsey Jensen's "Chill Girl" format is the template: the pick-me makes subtle digs while maintaining plausible deniability[1]. **In meme templates:** Screenshots, text posts, or image macros contrasting "regular girl" behavior with exaggerated pick-me behavior, often using a two-panel comparison format[4]. The term works best when applied to behavior that genuinely involves undermining other women for male attention. As multiple critics have noted, applying it to any woman who talks about men or doesn't fit traditional femininity dilutes the meaning[3][9]. ## Cultural Impact The "Pick Me" Girl concept broke out of internet slang into mainstream cultural discourse by the early 2020s. Media outlets including InsideHook, Cosmopolitan, Verywell Mind, and TODAY.com published explainers and analyses of the trend[1][3][7][8]. The term appeared in university classroom discussions, with students at Washington University in St. Louis applying it to historical feminist writers[9]. The psychological establishment weighed in, with therapists and clinical psychologists offering frameworks for understanding the behavior. Verywell Mind noted that gender stereotypes are associated with body shame, eating disorders, and reduced career ambitions in women, and that labeling someone as a "pick me girl" can be its own form of stereotyping[7]. Dr. Romanoff argued that women can combat pick-me tendencies by "de-centering men and instead centering themselves in the relationship process"[7]. The broader gender politics discussion also attracted academic attention. The asymmetry between "pick me girl" and its male equivalents ("simp," "nice guy") revealed different underlying social dynamics: female solidarity is policed as protective and born from shared exclusion, while male solidarity operates through competition and hierarchy[2]. The absence of a true male equivalent for "pick me girl" as a betrayal-of-gender concept became a talking point in gender studies discussions[2]. By 2025, the discourse had shifted toward concern about the term's overuse. Cosmopolitan's piece on Sabrina Carpenter argued that applying "pick me" to women who merely express romantic interest in men was "nearly the opposite of what it was coined to critique"[3]. The term had become so elastic that Charli XCX was called a pick-me for joking about deserving to headline Coachella, and Taylor Swift was labeled one for discussing struggles in the music industry[3]. ## Fun Facts - Ellen Pompeo, who delivered the original "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." line on *Grey's Anatomy* in 2005, initially pushed back on the script, asking "Why would I beg a man? This is so embarrassing"[8]. - The term "pick me" has roots in Black internet culture, with both the 2016 and 2018 waves of the hashtag originating on Black Twitter before spreading to mainstream platforms[1]. - Between 2021 and 2024, TikTok videos tagged with pick-me hashtags accumulated over 2 billion views[5]. - The concept has no true male equivalent in terms of cultural weight. While "simp" and "nice guy" exist for men, they're framed as failures of masculinity rather than betrayals of male solidarity[2]. - By 2024, the term had become so broad that university students were applying it to 18th-century feminist Mary Wollstonecraft in academic seminars[9]. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### What is the "Pick Me" Girl meme? "Pick Me" Girl is internet slang for a woman who seeks male validation by putting down other women or claiming to be "not like other girls." It went viral as a hashtag on Twitter in 2016 and became a major TikTok trend in 2021 through parody skits[4]. ### Where did the "Pick Me" Girl come from? The modern usage originated on Black Twitter in late February 2016 when @_PettyCrocker and @itsonlytwiterr launched the #TweetLikeAPickMe hashtag[4]. The phrase itself echoes Meredith Grey's 2005 *Grey's Anatomy* monologue: "Pick me. Choose me. Love me"[8]. ### What does "Pick Me" Girl mean? It describes a woman who alters her behavior, appearance, or stated preferences to gain male approval, often at the expense of other women. This can include claiming to prefer "guy stuff," shaming other women for being "too dramatic," or bragging about being low-maintenance[6]. ### How do you use the "Pick Me" Girl meme? The term is used as a callout for attention-seeking behavior that undermines other women, or in TikTok skit format where creators act out exaggerated pick-me scenarios in everyday social settings[1][4]. ### Is the "Pick Me" Girl meme still popular? The term is still widely used in everyday conversation and on social media, but by 2025 there was growing criticism that its meaning had been diluted to the point of applying to any woman who expresses interest in men[3]. ### Who started the #TweetLikeAPickMe hashtag? Twitter user @itsonlytwiterr proposed the hashtag, and @_PettyCrocker posted the earliest known tweet using it on February 28th, 2016. Blavity credited its origins to Black Twitter[4]. ### What is a "Pick Me Boy"? A Pick Me Boy is the male counterpart: a man who uses self-deprecation and emotional manipulation to seek female approval, often turning hostile when rejected. Professor Rachael Robnett called pick-me boys "one of the most disturbing gender phenomena of the modern era"[8]. ### Who is the "Chill Girl" on TikTok? Chill Girl is a character created by actor Kelsey Jensen, portraying a specific type of pick-me who's your boyfriend's female friend and subtly crosses boundaries while maintaining fake sincerity[1]. ### Is "Pick Me" Girl the same as "Not Like Other Girls"? They overlap but aren't identical. "Not Like Other Girls" focuses on rejecting feminine traits to seem unique, while "Pick Me" specifically involves seeking male validation by putting down other women. A woman can be both, or just one[5]. ### Why has the term been criticized? Critics argue the label has expanded so far beyond its original meaning that it's now used against women who simply express romantic interest in men, creating a new form of the same female-on-female judgment it was meant to call out[3][9]. ### What role does internalized misogyny play? Psychologists and cultural analysts widely connect pick-me behavior to internalized misogyny, where women adopt patriarchal values about femininity being frivolous or weak. Amy Rosenbluth argued it stems from "a desire to distance oneself from traditional female archetypes and stereotypes, which we've been told all our lives are bad and negative"[1]. ### How did TikTok change the "Pick Me" Girl meme? TikTok turned the concept from a text-based Twitter callout into a visual skit format. Hannah Montoya's March 2021 videos pioneered the approach, with her first pick-me skit hitting 9.9 million views and spawning thousands of imitations[4]. ## References 1. [The Problem With TikTok’s #PickMeGirl Trend, Explained - InsideHook]() 2. [White Paper: The “Pick Me Girl” and the Gender Politics of Solidarity | Edge Induced Cohesion]() 3. [The Redefinition of the “Pick Me Girl”]() 4. ["Pick Me" Girl - Know Your Meme]() 5. [Pickme girl]() 6. ["Pick Me" Girl - Urban Dictionary]() 7. [Urban Dictionary: pick me girl]() 8. [Pick Me Girl: What It Means and the Harmful Impact of Labelling it]() 9. [What Are 'Pick-Me Girls' And 'Pick-Me Boys?']() 10. [“Pick me. Choose me. Love me.”: The evolution of the “pick-me girl” - Student Life]() 11. [The Problem With TikTok’s #PickMeGirl Trend, Explained - InsideHook]() 12. [Blogs | A Little Bit Human]() --- Source: https://meme.com/memes/pick-me-girl Published by meme.com — The Internet Meme Library