The Ick

The word "ick" as an expression of disgust goes back to at least the 1940s, with roots in 1930s jazz slang where "icky" described overly sentimental music6. But the specific phrase "the ick" in a dating context first showed up on television.

On May 4th, 1995, *Friends* aired "The One with the Ick Factor," where Monica discovers the guy she's been dating is actually a high school senior3. Three years later, a 1999 episode of *Ally McBeal* had the title character describe losing attraction to someone as "the ick," using it to mean "just not meant to be"9. *Sex and the City* followed in January 2004 with its own "Ick Factor" episode, where Carrie debates whether Aleksandr Petrovsky's romantic gestures are charming or repulsive8.

These TV moments planted the seed, but the term stayed mostly dormant for over a decade. That changed in June 2017 during Season 3 of the UK reality show *Love Island*. Contestant Olivia Attwood described her collapsing attraction to Sam Gowland: "When you've seen a boy and got the ick, it doesn't go. It's caught you, and it's taken over your body. It's just ick. I can't shake it off"9. The quote struck a nerve. On June 13th, 2017, Twitter user @sophiejohn03 tweeted "olivia's just described that so well the ick ruins everything forever"3. On June 16th, Urban Dictionary user bbbbbx added a definition that picked up over 274 upvotes3.

The Ick jumped from internet slang to mainstream culture faster than most dating terms. Major publications including Vogue, Cosmopolitan, The Independent, and Refinery29 ran explainer pieces and consulted psychologists258. The term hit Parliament when Keir Starmer referenced it during political debate9.

The 2025 Azusa Pacific University study marked the Ick's entry into academic psychology, published in the journal *Personality and Individual Differences*7. The research drew coverage from outlets like DW and LatestLY, treating the Ick as a real object of scientific inquiry rather than just a meme.

The Ick also pushed relationship therapy into the spotlight. Multiple therapists built public profiles by commenting on it. Sexologist Sofie Roos, therapist Matt Hussey, and relationship counsellor Gurpreet Singh all became quotable experts on a concept that started as reality TV slang58.

TV show *Nobody Wants This* incorporated the Ick into its dialogue, with the line "You can't fight the ick" reflecting how deeply the term had embedded itself in dating culture8.

The Ick's path from sitcom one-liner to dominant internet slang took about 25 years, but the journey wasn't linear.

The 1990s TV appearances planted a cultural seed without watering it. *Friends* and *Ally McBeal* used "ick" casually, and audiences understood the feeling being described, but nobody adopted it as everyday vocabulary6. The word sat in the same linguistic dead zone as dozens of other coined TV phrases that never caught on.

Olivia Attwood's 2017 *Love Island* moment was the real spark. What made her usage different was the specificity. She wasn't just saying Sam Gowland was unappealing. She described the Ick as a physical invasion, something that "catches you" and "takes over your body"9. That framing turned a vague concept into something concrete and shareable. Twitter users immediately recognized the feeling and started applying it to their own lives10.

Between 2017 and 2020, the term percolated through dating discourse. Relationship coaches and therapists were already fielding questions about it. Dr. Becky Spelman of the Private Therapy Clinic defined it as "the sudden onset of the feeling that a person to whom one was previously attracted is suddenly unattractive to the point where physical contact seems revolting"2. Psychologist Emma Citron told The Tab that minor icks are worth pushing through, but persistent ones signal genuine incompatibility1.

TikTok in mid-2020 changed everything by turning the Ick from a dating conversation into a competitive comedy format. The platform's short video structure was perfect for the bit: set up a normal scenario, reveal it as your ick, watch the comments explode with people either agreeing or defending the behavior. The specificity arms race was the engine. Generic icks like "bad hygiene" got nothing. But "starting a lawnmower" or "hopping over a puddle"? Those went viral because they were so normal it felt absurd to be disgusted by them8.

Social media psychologist Ian MacRae observed that the Ick thrived because platforms reward simplification. "It's really easy to build up imaginary pictures of what someone is like, then have it quickly shattered," he told Insider9. The format gave users a way to define themselves through what they reject, a powerful identity signal in the swipe-based dating era.

Gender dynamics run through the entire trend. Most Ick content is created by women about men, and submissions frequently flag stereotypically "feminine" male behaviors as ick-worthy, like men crossing their legs or taking selfies9. Remmington, who curates Ick content on Instagram, acknowledged this can veer into uncomfortable territory: "I think in any situation like this, it's about whether you're punching up or punching down"9.

A 2025 academic study from Azusa Pacific University brought scientific rigor to the conversation. Researchers Chloe Yin, Eliana Saunders, and Brian Collisson analyzed 86 TikTok videos tagged #theick and identified common triggers: gender incongruence, public embarrassment, annoying speech patterns, fashion mistakes, physical quirks, and vanity7. They also surveyed 125 singles and found that people with higher levels of narcissism, perfectionism, and general disgust sensitivity were more likely to experience the Ick7. Women reported both greater familiarity with the concept and higher frequency of feeling it, which the researchers attributed to "heightened sensitivity to relational risks"7.

The study prompted pushback. Raquel Peel, a psychology researcher at the University of Notre Dame Australia, noted that "the modern dating scene is overwhelmed by individuals with high and possibly unrealistic expectations"7. She suggested future research should explore whether the Ick functions as a pattern of relationship self-sabotage rather than a genuine compatibility signal.

Therapists generally land somewhere in the middle. Integrative therapist Matt Hussey told Vogue that the Ick can be a legitimate evolutionary response to incompatibility, but it can also be an avoidant attachment mechanism: "What seems like pickiness might be emotional self-protection in disguise"8. Dating expert Hayley Quinn added that sometimes the Ick "can reflect our own discomfort with getting closer to someone, rather than something the other person is actively doing"5.

By 2024, there were signs of Ick fatigue. Sarah Louise Ryan, a relationship expert, pointed out that the framing puts all responsibility on the other person: "By saying 'it's the ick,' people are really saying it's just 'something that happens' in dating that is not their responsibility. It removes accountability"9. Some users began posting ironically about the trend itself being an ick. The meme eating its own tail.