What is the "Instead Of Going To Therapy" meme?

It's a Twitter snowclone that follows the format "Men will literally [X] instead of going to therapy," mocking the idea that men will do anything, no matter how extreme, to avoid seeking mental health treatment[5].

Where did "Instead Of Going To Therapy" come from?

The earliest known version was posted by Twitter user @SpencerKavlan on July 30, 2020, but the format went viral on December 30, 2020, when @lisatomic's tweet about men learning "everything about ancient Rome" got over 155,000 likes[5].

What does "Instead Of Going To Therapy" mean?

The joke implies men are so resistant to therapy they'd rather channel their energy into absurd hobbies, historic conquests, or self-destructive behaviors. Some versions play it straight as gender commentary, while others use it for pure absurdist humor[1][3].

How do you use the "Instead Of Going To Therapy" meme?

Write "Men will literally [insert activity] instead of going to therapy," filling in the blank with something funny, impressive, or ridiculous. Pop culture references and historical figures work especially well[2].

Is "Instead Of Going To Therapy" still popular?

The format peaked in January 2021 and burned through its cycle quickly. It still gets occasional use, particularly in ironic or self-aware contexts, and writers reference it when discussing therapy culture[3][4].

What was the most viral "Instead Of Going To Therapy" tweet?

The @lisatomic tweet from December 30, 2020, about men learning "everything about ancient Rome," which earned over 14,000 retweets and 155,000 likes on Twitter[5].

Why did the meme get criticized?

Mel Magazine argued the format reinforces the stigma it claims to critique by treating therapy avoidance as an innate male trait, while ignoring real barriers like cost, access, and the mental health system's failure to adapt to male patients[1].

Did brands use the meme?

Yes. Convenience store chain Kum & Go posted "men will literally go to kum & go instead of going to therapy," which Mel Magazine's Miles Klee held up as an example of the format losing all meaning[1].

How does the meme relate to therapy culture?

The meme arrived during a cultural moment when "going to therapy" was becoming a social status marker. Several writers used the format as a lens to examine whether therapy culture was being oversimplified or even weaponized in relationships[3][4].

Is the meme only about men?

The overwhelming majority of instances target men specifically, framing therapy avoidance as a masculine trait. This gendered framing was central to both its appeal and the criticism it received[1].

Instead Of Going To Therapy

2020Snowclone / catchphrasesemi-active

Published March 31, 2026

Also known as: Men Will Literally · Men Would Rather

"Instead Of Going To Therapy" is a Twitter snowclone meme following the format "Men will literally [X] instead of going to therapy," where X is an absurd, impressive, or destructive activity stereotypically associated with men. The format originated in July 2020 and peaked in late December 2020 through January 2021, when a viral tweet about men learning "everything about ancient Rome" racked up over 155,000 likes5. The meme sparked real debate about masculinity, mental health stigma, and whether therapy is actually the universal fix the joke implies1.

snowclone memes mental health memes gender stereotype memes 2020 memes twitter memes

Overview

The meme uses a rigid fill-in-the-blank structure: "Men will literally [action] instead of going to therapy." The action slot gets filled with anything from historically epic feats to mundane hobbies, all framed as substitutes for professional mental health care. The joke works on two levels. Some versions genuinely mock men's supposed resistance to introspection, while others play the format for absurdist laughs by inserting fictional characters or historical conquests into the template5. A tweet about Aaron Rodgers losing a football game works just as well as one about Batman fighting costumed villains by night2.

The format is a snowclone, meaning it follows a fixed syntactic template with one variable slot. This makes it extremely easy to remix, which helped it spread fast and burn through its lifecycle quickly1.

Origin & Background

Platform

Twitter

Creator

@SpencerKavlan

Date

2020

On July 30, 2020, Twitter user @SpencerKavlan posted what appears to be the earliest known version of the snowclone. His tweet read: "Men will literally defend an entire civilization from ruin in two world wars, start and provide for a family, produce masterworks of art and culture, and then just NOT go to therapy smdh," picking up over 120 likes5. The tweet was itself a parody of a pre-existing genre of posts listing toxic or avoidant behaviors men engage in rather than seeking therapy.

The format didn't catch fire immediately. It sat dormant for a couple of months before a brief resurgence in October 2020. On October 6th, Twitter user @sh44sti tweeted, "men will literally found the timurid empire and be heralded as one of history's greatest military commanders and tacticians instead of go to therapy," earning over 300 retweets and 2,800 likes5.

How It Spread

The real explosion came in late December 2020 and early January 2021. On December 30, 2020, user @lisatomic posted the tweet that blew the format wide open: "men will literally learn everything about ancient Rome instead of going to therapy." It pulled in over 14,000 retweets and 155,000 likes, making it the single most viral instance of the template5.

That tweet opened the floodgates. Within days, the format was everywhere on Twitter. @BecksWelker used it to roast Aaron Rodgers after his NFC championship loss, getting over 500 retweets and 6,700 likes. @zachsilberberg crossed it with the Bernie Sanders In A Chair meme, scoring over 450 likes5. Users riffed on everything from Santa Claus ("travel around the world in a sleigh giving presents to strangers") to Mark Zuckerberg ("invent Facebook") to the plot of Howl's Moving Castle ("live in a moving castle and transform into a giant bird")2.

BuzzFeed kicked off 2021 with a listicle compiling the best examples, which Mel Magazine's Miles Klee described as the format entering its "terminal phase"1. Brands jumped in too. Convenience store chain Kum & Go tweeted "men will literally go to kum & go instead of going to therapy," which Klee called "completely meaningless," a Mad Libs approach where companies just plugged their name into the variable slot1. The Daily Dot, BuzzFeed, and Mel Magazine all published coverage of the trend5.

By mid-January 2021, the format had largely played itself out in its original form, though it continued popping up in ironic and meta variations. Some users flipped the script entirely, using it to question therapy culture itself: "Men will literally solve their problems instead of going to therapy"3.

How to Use This Meme

The format follows a simple template:

Start with "Men will literally" (or "men would rather")

Insert an activity, achievement, or behavior, the more absurd or impressive the better

End with "instead of going to therapy"

Cultural Impact

What set this meme apart from most Twitter snowclones was the genuine cultural conversation it triggered. Mel Magazine published one of the most thorough critiques, arguing that the punchline "gains the power of stereotype by repetition" and that framing therapy avoidance as an inherent male trait actually worsens the stigma around men's mental health1. Klee pointed out that men are statistically less likely to seek therapy, but the meme ignores structural factors like cost, access, and the fact that psychotherapy as a discipline has been slow to tailor its approach to male patients1.

The format also fed into a broader cultural moment around "therapy speak" infiltrating everyday language. A 2024 essay on 3 Quarks Daily used the meme as a jumping-off point to critique the assumption that therapy is "a sort of magic cure for any ills one may have," noting how reality TV contestants and podcasters like Andrew Huberman had turned "going to therapy" into a social status marker rather than a private medical decision3.

Writer Olivia Crandall connected the meme to the Jonah Hill/Sarah Brady controversy and the Netflix documentary *Stutz*, asking pointed questions about when therapy language gets weaponized in relationships. "Which caricature of a man is a better member of society?" she wrote. "Someone who spends hours on Wikipedia each day learning about the Roman empire from his mattress on the floor? Or someone who incorrectly uses the therapeutic concept of boundaries to control and emotionally abuse their partner?"4

The Free Press referenced the meme in a 2023 article about Jordan Peterson's licensing dispute, using the format's familiarity to set up a discussion about therapy's role in public life6.

Fun Facts

The "ancient Rome" tweet by @lisatomic predated the viral "How often do men think about the Roman Empire?" trend by nearly three years, making men's fascination with Rome a recurring meme punchline5.

Mel Magazine called the Kum & Go brand tweet an example of the format reaching "semantic collapse," where the joke structure no longer carries any actual meaning1.

The meme prompted serious academic-adjacent discussion about how therapeutic language gets misused. Rachel Patla, a practicing counselor in New Jersey, was quoted in Mel Magazine arguing that overuse of therapy jargon "detracts from the seriousness of actually having depression or anxiety"1.

*Puss in Boots: The Last Wish* (2022) was retroactively read through the lens of this meme, with one writer describing its protagonist as a character who "will literally go on epic quests" instead of addressing his problems4.

The meme format was already considered "played out" by multiple outlets within about two weeks of peak popularity in January 20211.

Frequently Asked Questions

References (7)

1
Things Men Would Rather Do Than Go To Therapyarticle
2
'Men Will Literally … Instead of Going to Therapy' Meme Doesn't Workarticle
3
Will Jordan Peterson Lose His License for Wrongthink?article
4
Instead Of Going To Therapy - Know Your Memeencyclopedia
5
List of Internet phenomenaencyclopedia
6
Is Art a Form of Therapy? - 3 Quarks Dailyarticle
7
What if…men will literally go to therapy instead of going to therapy?article