What is The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known?

A catchphrase taken from writer Tim Kreider's 2013 New York Times essay 'I Know What You Think of Me,' used on Tumblr to caption posts about embarrassment, self-exposure, and emotional vulnerability.

Where did The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known come from?

Author Tim Kreider wrote the line in a piece published by the New York Times on June 15, 2013, prompted by being accidentally CC'd on an unflattering email about his pet goats.

What does The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known mean?

Kreider's full line argues that genuine love requires letting someone see your flaws, so being truly known is the uncomfortable price of being loved.

How do you use The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known?

Common Tumblr posts place the Kreider quote beneath an image of someone caught in an embarrassing moment or fleeing emotional closeness, as in the viral 'Running Dad' reblog from July 2018.

Is The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known still popular?

Between 2018 and 2019 it was one of Tumblr's heavily reblogged lines, with the 'Running Dad' pairing alone drawing over 264,000 notes, and it is still cited as a defining Tumblr catchphrase of that era.

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

2013catchphraseclassic

Published October 22, 2026

Writer Tim Kreider closed a 2013 New York Times essay with the line about submitting to 'the mortifying ordeal of being known' in exchange for love. Tumblr users rediscovered the quote in April 2018, deploying it both earnestly and as a shitpost punchline for embarrassing self-exposure. A July 2018 reblog pairing it with the 'Running Dad' comic drew more than 264,000 notes and set the template for later remixes.

tumblr memes catchphrase memes delayed virality memes cringe memes self deprecating memes

Overview

Posts tagged with the phrase split into two modes on Tumblr. Earnest users apply it to moments of being seen by friends or partners, while shitposters attach it to screenshots of cringey confessions, embarrassing selfies, or chaotic self-exposure4. A common setup places an image of someone caught doing something ridiculous above the Kreider line, making the picture itself the 'mortifying ordeal' in question2.

Variants plug in different images to match whatever joke a user is making. The widely reblogged 'Running Dad' pairing uses a comic strip of a cartoon father literally sprinting away from an emotional conversation2. Later posts fed Parks and Recreation scenes, 'No Take, Only Throw' dog comics, and other Tumblr-native reaction formats into the same quote slot3.

Gallery

Origin & Background

Platform

The New York Times / Tumblr (viral spread)

Creator

Tim Kreider

Date

2013

Tim Kreider published 'I Know What You Think of Me' in the New York Times on June 15, 2013, after being accidentally CC'd on an email in which a colleague sighed 'oof' over his decision to rent a herd of goats1. The essay pivots from his secondhand embarrassment at that reply-all slip into an argument that unconditional love requires accepting people's flaws rather than pretending not to see them1.

Kreider closed the piece with the line, 'if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known'1. The quote sat largely dormant online for nearly five years before Tumblr picked it up.

How It Spread

Tumblr user 1dietcokeinacan reposted the full Kreider quote in all-caps on April 17, 2018, giving it the typographic weight Tumblr reserves for emotional revelations4. On July 3, 2018, user deadpanwalking reblogged that post and attached the 'Running Dad' comic, in which a cartoon father sprints away rather than discuss his feelings2. That version drew more than 264,000 notes and locked in the sincere-plus-chaotic structure most later remixes copied.

Variant posts followed over the next year. On November 8, 2018, Tumblr user tieflinggay turned the quote into a 'No Take, Only Throw' dog comic that drew over 36,000 notes3. The following February, user stuffedgrapeleaves posted a Parks and Recreation edit built around the same line, reaching more than 23,000 notes4. The phrase became one of the recognisable Tumblr lines of that era, cited by users as a tidy summary of the anxiety of being perceived.

Timeline

2013-06-15

Tim Kreider publishes 'I Know What You Think of Me' in the New York Times, closing with the mortifying-ordeal line.

2018-04-17

Tumblr user 1dietcokeinacan reposts the Kreider quote in all-caps, kicking off the meme phase.

2018-07-03

Tumblr user deadpanwalking reblogs the quote with the 'Running Dad' comic, a post that drew over 264,000 notes.

2018-11-08

Tumblr user tieflinggay posts a 'No Take, Only Throw' dog-comic variant that drew 36,000+ notes.

2019-02-23

Tumblr user stuffedgrapeleaves posts a Parks and Recreation edit using the quote, reaching 23,000+ notes.

How to Use This Meme

Posts in this template typically place a specific image or scene above the Kreider line so the picture itself reads as the 'mortifying ordeal.' Users often pick visuals of someone caught in an embarrassing moment, a character fleeing emotional conversation, or an awkward confession screenshot. Earnest versions skip the image and quote the line straight.