Americans Will Use Anything Except The Metric System
Also known as: Americans Will Measure Using Anything But The Metric System
"Americans Will Use Anything Except The Metric System" is a catchphrase meme that mocks the tendency of American media and institutions to measure things using absurd, non-standard units like washing machines, alligators, and hamburgers instead of metric measurements. The phrase took off in August 2019 after a Twitter user quote-tweeted a Kansas City news report that described a sinkhole as "roughly six to seven washing machines" wide, and examples of the joke keep surfacing whenever U.S. news outlets reach for creative comparisons.
TL;DR
"Americans Will Use Anything Except The Metric System" is a catchphrase meme that mocks the tendency of American media and institutions to measure things using absurd, non-standard units like washing machines, alligators, and hamburgers instead of metric measurements.
Overview
Origin & Background
How It Spread
How to Use This Meme
The meme works in two main ways:
Sharing real examples: Screenshot an actual American news report, tweet, or official communication that uses a non-standard unit of measurement. Caption it with "Americans will use anything except the metric system" or a variation. The funnier the comparison unit, the better the post lands.
Creating fictional examples: Make up absurd measurement comparisons in the same style. "That's about 47 bald eagles long" or "roughly the weight of 3,000 McNuggets." The joke works best when the fake unit sounds just plausible enough to have appeared in a real news broadcast.
The format is flexible. It shows up as image macros, Twitter quote-tweets, Reddit posts with the "Nobody:" template, and simple text posts. The key ingredient is always the same: an American measurement that uses anything other than meters, liters, or grams.
Cultural Impact
Fun Facts
National Metric Week falls on the week containing October 10th because 10/10 references the base-10 metric system, but most Americans have never heard of it.
The Swabian German word "Muggeseggele," meaning roughly "a housefly's ballsack," is used the same way English speakers say "a smidge," proving Americans aren't the only ones with creative measurement alternatives.
Metric and imperial socket wrenches are surprisingly close in some sizes: 8mm is nearly identical to 5/16" and 11mm works for 7/16", a quirk that mechanics on both sides of the Atlantic exploit daily.
Cheezburger described their metric system listicle as "15 squirrels long," staying perfectly on-brand.
Derivatives & Variations
Alligator Social Distancing
Polk County, Florida's suggestion to maintain one alligator-length of social distance during COVID-19 became one of the most shared standalone examples[3].
Giraffe-Sized Asteroid
A 2022 news headline describing an asteroid as "giraffe-sized" generated its own wave of meme posts[2].
Refrigerator Door Plug
The Alaska Airlines door plug incident in 2024, described as "about the size of a refrigerator," sparked fresh discussion about which refrigerator, exactly[2].
Deer-Hamburger Scale
The original 2015 library book image (deer = 800 hamburgers) functions as the proto-example of the format and gets regularly reposted[3].
Frequently Asked Questions
References (4)
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- 4Social credit systemencyclopedia